I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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