i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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