it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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