I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize