Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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