i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
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