I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize