idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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