I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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