Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
