Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize