Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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