It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize