At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize