Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize