Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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