like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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