well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize