I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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