I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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