We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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