You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize