he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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