Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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