No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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