Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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