i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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