if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize