Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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