Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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