Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize