Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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