You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize