How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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