I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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