tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize