Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize