yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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