I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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