I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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