Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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