How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize