It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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