i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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