sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize