the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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