Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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