Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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