I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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