I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize