You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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